Blow Job Pointers!

Social Sex

Okay lets start here: Don’t think of it as a job. It shouldn’t be a chore and with the right mood and techniques, oral sex can satisfy you and your partner. Oh, and no blowing either!

Careful With Those Teeth!

There are many wrong ways to give a blow job, but this tops the list. A knick or a grind with your gnashes can cause way more pain than pleasure and kill the whole vibe, boner and all, in a flash.

Use Your Tongue

A kiss with no tongue is just uninspiring, so apply the same rule to blow jobs. Use your tongue to tease and stimulate the penis’s most sensitive areas –  the tip, the testicles and the perineum – the secret spot between the testicles and the anus.
Use Your Hands

Men like to masturbate, they do it a lot when you’re not around. So do what he likes. Use your hand and mouth at the same time as you go up and down, it will have him wanting to shoot his load in no time.

Use Liquids And Sauces

Spice things up with your partner and try a few party tricks – take a mouthful of warm tea, swill it around your mouth, swallow, then take your man’s penis into your mouth for 20 seconds and suck. Then do the exact same procedure with a mouthful of cold water. The difference in hot and cold will have him climbing the wall. You can also try champagne, fizzy water, mint, ice cubes and ice cream for extra unexpected sensations.


Your man’s pleasure level will be increased if he thinks its not all about him. He wants to feel that you are enjoying the experience as well, so let out some pleasurable moans and groans as you suck, it will drive him wild.

Get Messy

Another way of letting your man know you are enjoying pleasuring him is by increasing your amount of saliva. Make that dick messy and slippery, it will also increase the lubrication and enable a quicker motion up and down when its time to make him cum. Gagging is also a good way to increase the saliva, it will also make him feel like his dick is so big you are choking on it.

Remember the Testicles

Men love having their balls licked and sucked too. Don’t make this a routine, rotate the action from the shaft and penis to the balls. Also cupping them when you suck will increase pleasure.

To Swallow or Not To Swallow

If you ask most men, they will want you to swallow, or at least let them ejaculate in your mouth. If you find the thought of swallowing sperm or even having it in your mouth revolting, let him know before you start. But be prepared, some men will try not to let you know when they are about to cum, just so they will be able to ejaculate in your mouth. Always have tissues handy in any event. If you don’t wish to take it in the mouth, offer for him to cum on your breasts, belly or ass as an alternative.


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How To Have Sex In An Elevator

Socialsex There are two things that get a real man’s juices flowing – sex and risk. Combining the two will help keep you and your partners lives invigorated and your relationship exciting and healthy. Ditch the bed and take your bedroom outside where there are endless possibilities.
Elevators figures pretty high on the list of a lot of people’s fantasy places to have sex, for good reason, but the recent elevator incident between Jay Z and his sister-in-law Solange illustrates they aren’t exactly private spaces. So if you intend to get it in between floors, here’s a few tips to ensure the ride is smooth:
Most elevators these days are kitted out with security cameras, so that is the first thing you need to check. If you see a lens in the elevator, its a no-no, as you will either be watched live by security or on tape which may end up going viral. There are some people who like that idea, but if you want the thrill of elevator sex without exposure, find one without cameras. It should also be in a building that does not have high foot traffic, or maybe an office building after hours. Part of the thrill is getting caught so balance it right. Hit the emergency stop button and then hit it with your partner.
Be aware you will be romping on borrowed time, as other people will want to use the elevator and the alarm bell will ring automatically. If the building is worth anything then help will arrive pretty quickly, so try and make your thrill ride a quickie!
The best elevators of all for wild sex are the old-style ones with the sliding gate. You have to close the outside door first and then slide the gate to a locked position before it can move. These elevators are often found in older buildings. However, between floors, if you simply slide the gate open it automatically shuts down the elevator. Most don’t have cameras or automatic alarms either. You have hit the alarm button yourself so make sure if you have your partner up against the side of the elevator be aware of where the alarm button is. The only disturbance you will have is from irate people on other floors who are calling the lift.
With no automatic alarm, this will give you maximum time for you to have passionate sex before you have to finish your ride, lock back the gate and continue on your day, both with mischievous smiles on your faces.


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3 mistakes that kill your relationship

relationship killerBeing in a healthy relationship is no easy accomplishment. For most people, the first 6 months of a relationship are amazing, surreal and sometimes too good to be true. But sooner or later, reality starts to sink in and that’s when the hard work begins. You begin to argue, to iron out the kinks and figure out whether or not your relationship has long-term potential.


If you’re worried about making mistakes, then don’t get too worked up. We all make mistakes however it is crucial to know which mistakes you should absolutely avoid when it comes to love, dating and sex.


  1. 1.     Being in a relationship for sex

Relationships based on physical attraction will never last. Do not date or commit to an individual just because the bedroom chemistry is out of this world. Many of us begin relationships with the assumption that we are madly attracted to a particular person, and then once the sex gets boring, we soon leave.

  1. 2.     Analyzing every minor detail

The human mind is an interesting field of study because we are one of the only living creatures on the planet that can reason and this is why we tend to overanalyze situations and relationships. If you can, try to stay focused on the present and to practice pure acceptance. Over-thinking or holding onto past feelings usually causes a lot of problems in relationships.

  1. 3.     Quit listening to your friends and loved ones

If the people who have known you the longest and the closest to you are saying that your partner is nothing but bad news. Then perhaps it is time to reconsider your stance on the relationship. Remember, that your friends and family know you the best, and their opinion is valid as they’ve likely been there for you when you got heart broken before.


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Questions you wish you could ask on a first date

sexy dating coupleOh, the woes of the first date. You spend your time picking out the perfect restaurant; the ideal outfit and you try your utmost to present yourself as someone worthy of dating. In some cases, a first date can feel wonderful. You walk away thinking that you’ve made a connection with another human, and then over time, you realize that they were just presenting a false image of themselves.


Unfortunately for you and for many daters out there, human social interaction has a specific schema that involves being polite and not asking brutally honest questions when we first meet someone. But what would you ask if you didn’t care about how you’d come across?


Well, here’s what we would ask:


  1. So are you the type of person who likes to fuck on the first date? Or are we going to wait weeks, maybe months before hitting the sheets?
  2. Your online dating profile said you were the “sushi master”, can you actually make wicked sushi or is it something you did once or twice and thought it would make you more attractive to other sex?
  3. If we were to date, are you the kind of person who expects constant communication? Do you expect me to tell you every minor detail of my (sometimes boring) existence?
  4. You describe yourself as a “freelance graphic designer”, is that just a good title to replace the fact that you don’t work? And how much money do you actually make?
  5. How often do you like to have sex? Do you have any insecurities about getting naked in front of other people?
  6. Do you like to cuddle after sex?
  7. Who else are you dating? Is it just me, or are you here because someone cancelled on you?
  8. Are you actually over your ex? Or are you still sleeping with them?
  9. Do you have any serious addictions? Or any plans to gain a ridiculous amount of weight in the next 6 months? ]
  10. Do you expect me to pay for everything? Or are you the type who pays for your fair share?
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The 3 relationship commandments

sexy realtionship coupleBeing in a relationship isn’t the happily ever after portrayed in your favorite Hollywood. Relationships take a lot of work to maintain because no human on this planet is perfect. All of us are flawed and all of us eventually change over time. The couples who are willing to work through their problems, show patience and accept their partners fully, are typically the ones who survive the test of life.


If you are happy in-love right now, and you want to keep those levels of bliss up, then take note of the following relationship commandments:


Don’t bottle up your emotions: If you are upset about something, then talk about it immediately before your resent builds up to a frighteningly dangerous level. You must understand that there is a difference between nitpicking and genuinely being cross about something. Know the difference and communicate.


Quit being so judgmental: The saying “familiarity breeds contempt” is the reason why loving relationships turn sour. When two people start dating, they adorn masks and the other person projects an image of an ideal relationship onto their partner. What happens over time is that the mask drops and the honeymoon is over. The reality remains: Our partner is not who we thought they were, so we give up. But what if we learned to accept people (flaws and perfections)?


Make time for yourself: Never lose sight of who you are, and why your partner became attracted to you in the first place. This means you need to maintain your hobbies, your goals and your aspirations. Don’t lose sight of who your friends are, and how awesome your life was before you met your current beau.

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4 more signs that you’ve been single for too long

  1. sexy weard single1.     You think you’ve forgotten how to make out

You cant remember the last time you actually locked lips with another human being, and you’re starting to panic because you might’ve become a terrible kisser over this extended period of time of going without. If this is the case, then yes, you have been single for too long and you need to join a hookup dating site pronto.


  1. 2.     You’re jealous and bitter of friends in new relationships

When you’re single, something very strange happens in the universe and all the sudden, all your reliable single friends enter into long-term romantic relationships. It’s hard enough being single, but now what are you going to do about those beloved friends you need to take to the bar with you? If you find yourself becoming jealous and bitter about others couples happiness, then it’s a strong warning sign.


  1. 3.     You’ve forgotten how to be intimate and open up to people

The longer you are single, the more you realize that opening up and being vulnerable is kind of a scary thing. As time goes on, you learn to shelter your heart more and more because being alone prevents heartbreak and pain. If you find it difficult to open up with others then you’ve definitely been single for far too long.


  1. 4.     You find something wrong with everyone

No matter how many dates you go on or how many interesting people cross your path, you are always the first one to sabotage a potential relationship by being negative. There’s one thing wrong with a person and you just can’t overcome this hump. This is nothing more than a defense mechanism and it’s something that needs to stop if you want to find happiness.

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Signs you have been single for too long

fetish single womanBeing single has its obvious advantages, as well as disadvantages. The truth remains that the more time you spend being single, the more difficult it becomes to find a meaningful relationship that you’re not just “settling” on because you don’t want to be single anymore.


Spending time with yourself is great, but spending too much time alone can cause you to become reclusive, or even desperate. So what are the signs that you’ve been single for too long?


Watch out for the following:


You don’t have standards anymore – Seriously, you are contemplating having sex with men who utterly revolted you six months ago. Why the sudden change? Well, it’s called desperation and it fucks up your perception of reality. Keep your standards in check, if you want to find a meaningful relationship. Conversely, if you just want sex, then fuck someone hot.


You’re actually contemplating being gay – Everyone thinks that gay people are having so much sex, and it’s so easy to meet people in the gay community. But it’s just like the hetero community, and many people face the same challenges of meeting the “right” person.


You think about your ex and “what could have been” – You find yourself cyberstalkign your ex more often than you’d like, and you actually start thinking that you’ve made a mistake. The thought of getting back with him or her crosses your mind, until you remember why you broke up in the first place. The past is over, don’t move backward just because you’re single right now.

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What we can learn from Gwyneth Paltrow’s “Conscious Uncoupling” letter

break-up celeb coupleWhen celebrities breakup, it’s often splashed all over the tabloids like both parties involved are immune to having their feelings hurt. The good thing about being a “normal person” is that we can go through breakups without the gossip and media frenzy.


Now that Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin have announced their “conscious uncoupling” after 10 years of marriage, you can bet that there will repeated analysis, tabloid coverage and talk for a long time to come. After all, they were a very private couple that seemed steady for the most part – but you can never know what happens behind closed doors. When the couple announced their divorce via Gwyneth’s site “goop”, she attached an essay written by two doctors on the nature of divorce; why it happens and why we need to change our perspective on the matter. The essay offered some useful nuggets of dating and relationship advice that we thought we’d shall with you:


  • Idealizing your partner is never good news. Accept people for who they are and stop projecting ideal images onto them. People will not change; you should love the person for they are – flaws and all.
  • Quit relying on other people for your perception of yourself. In a relationship, it is hard to maintain a sense of individuality, and if you want to be successful then it’s crucial to make time for yourself and your interests.
  • Daily renewal is the secret to long-lasting love. Couples become too comfortable and ultimately start taking each other fore granted.  If a relationship is set to survive the future, then there needs to be a willingness to adapt to change and renew the relationship on a daily basis with continuous affirmation, love and respect.


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What the hell is “conscious uncoupling”?

Chris martin & Gweneth PaltrowUnless you’ve been living in a cave for the past couple days, it’s probable that you’ve heard the news about actress Gwyneth Paltrow and Coldplay frontman Chris Martin officially separating and seeking divorce.


The couple, who have been together for over 10 years and have two kids, Moses 7, and Apple, 9, announced their separation via Gwyneth’s site “goop” and instead of calling it an actual separation, they decided to go with “conscious uncoupling”.


Just in case you’re wondering, “What the fuck does conscious uncoupling mean?” we’ve decided to guide you through the basics and try make sense of the pretentious letter on goop which actually sheds light on plenty relationship/marriage issues faced by common folk.


According to the letter, the human life cycle has increased dramatically over the past couple hundred years, and as a result, the expression “Until death do us part” is no longer valid. When the aforementioned phrase became popular, it was during the rise of the industrial revolution when marriage and the concept of the nuclear family rose to prominence. The average life expectancy during this period was 55, and that’s why men and women who typically decided to settle down in there twenties spent the rest of their lives together. However, thanks to advances in modern medicine, the average life expectancy has risen to an exponential age of 80 years, therefore, according to the letter, we live numerous lives in one, and human aren’t “built” to be with one person for all of eternity.


Of course, some couples do it, but these types are few and far between. The reality is that spending 50 years with one person is unrealistic, and while divorce is a term riddled with negative energy, the idea of conscious uncoupling simply means that two people have mutually agreed to end their marriage because they cannot change together, and wish to explore something alternative.


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8 different types of ways you can love a person

  1. Passionated love coupleFriendship – Fondness and familiarity breed friendly relations with other humans. Being friends with another person enables you to feel closeness, and warmth towards the other without intense sexual feelings.
  2. Infatuation – This often characterizes the early stages of love where one or two people literally become obsessed with the other person. There may not be intimacy or commitment, but romance and sexual fireworks are certainly in the air.
  3. Empty love – this is love without commitment. Think about two people who have been dating for a few months, but are still unsure how to define the relationship. Everything is there, but it’s not just spoken about or it has not been explored fully.
  4. Romance – The combination of physical and emotional intimacy enables two people to become smitten with one another. They are drawn to each other and bonded through commitment.
  5. Companionship – Most couples that have been married for a long time understand this type of love very well. The passion and romance are not dead, but it’s certainly not like it was in the beginning. Rather, they are life mates, companions together facing the challenges and pleasures life brings together.
  6. Fatuous – marriage with passion and companionship. This is an ideal state for monogamous couples. The commitment is solid and the relationship ceases to be boring or lacking passion.
  7. Consummate love – The highest form humans can reach. It’s an ideal relationship where there is respect, acceptance, strong friendship, long term commitment and passion. It’s two humans who function well together no matter what. This is the ultimate, and it’s very hard to attain.


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Making the most of your relationship

happy relationship coupleIt has always troubled me that love can die. It’s so odd that two people can fall in-love in the beginning, but utterly hate each other in the end. What happens in the space between love and hate? And how do couples get there?


Of course, the answer to that question is vastly complicated, but I think it has something to do with embracing change and acceptance. You need to understand that your relationship will take on many different meanings over time, and that clinging to the past or what was is not the way to make your current relationship successful. You need to accept the present and learn to keep those respect levels up.


Here are just a few more tips for making love last:

  • Be realistic about who you are and who your partner is. No two people are alike. If that were so, your relationship would be utterly boring. Don’t place unrealistic expectations on your partner, instead to seek to understand who they are and what they are capable of.
  • Small things reap big rewards. Don’t treat your relationship like a game of tennis where you go back and forth with acts of kindness. Real love doesn’t keep score, instead you do small things (like making dinner) to show your love. The more small things you do, the more your partner feels spoiled to have you.
  • Avoid the routine. It has been said that anything too predictable in life quickly becomes boring. Couples who are successful know the benefits of altering the routine. So don’t be afraid to embrace a little change here and there. It’s a good thing.


Remember to communicate openly and never forget that love is a verb. It’s something you have to do.

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Why living together is an exciting challenge

sexy marriage coupleAccording to the American Census Bureau, marriage is on the decline. Less and less couples are opting to shack up and share their belongings as opposed to paying for an extravagant wedding and a piece of paper. The jury is still out on whether living together or not actually betters or worsens couples motivation for getting married eventually, as we all know that couples who don’t live together before marriage still have the same odds for success as couples who do.


But hey, that’s all statistical jargon. If you’re thinking about moving in with your boyfriend or girlfriend, then here are a few important conversations to have:


Define your relationship: Don’t just move in with your partner to save money on rent. If you do this, the relationship will not last. It’s not about money; it’s about whether you are ready to take this step in your relationship. Talk about what it means to both of you to live with one another.


Talk about money: When you live together, you will be splitting the cost of food, entertainment, Internet, and household items. It’s important to talk about budgets and how much each of you is willing to spend on the things you need, and define the different wants and necessities.


Split household tasks: Dishes, vacuuming, laundry, and taking out the garbage are not tasks that can rest on one person’s shoulders. As a couple, you need to sit down and write out the tasks that need to be done around the house, and devise a plan for who does what and when. It can be a rotating schedule or something fixed. Doing this will eliminate the chances of fighting over things related to cleanliness.

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How to please a woman who makes more money than you


 Man on hand and knees to please a womanSo you’ve met a wonderful woman online. She’s smart, she’s funny and she’s drop dead gorgeous. Every date you’ve been on has been a blast and you can feel this connection branching off into relationship territory. But there’s one minor detail that has you concerned – she earns more money than you. Yes, that’s right. You always thought it would be awesome to date a Sugar Mamma, and now you’re doing it. The weird thing is that your ego feels slightly crushed, and you’re wondering how to impress a woman who can virtually purchase anything she wants for herself.

 Well, brother, don’t fret. We’re here to save the day with some helpful tips and advice.

 Money is an object

Due to mainstream gender norms, you might feel that the role of a man is to protect and provide for the woman in his life. But studies have consistently shown that women don’t mind providing financially as long as her man is at least working, and contributing in other meaningful ways. If you can make your woman feel cherished and appreciated in the relationship then she will likely not give a damn that you earn less.

 A thoughtful gift is often better than something fancy

Women aren’t as material as you might assume based what you read in magazines or see in the movies. In fact, buying her something expensive and way overpriced says nothing about the way you feel about her. Whereas putting time, thought and energy into getting her something special is so much more meaningful and romantic. Furthermore, women get all mushy on the inside when the man they love takes time to make her a card that says warm words about his true feelings – no fancy designer bag can ever compare to this.

 Remember never to feel insecure or overwhelmed by the idea of a woman making more than you. It’s apart of our modern day reality, and as long as you are providing something then we can safely say you are doing just fine.

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What to do if a gay guy hits on you

gay couple walking on the beach

A lot of straight men out there do not know how to respond when a gay guy hits on them at a bar or in any other public setting. Some might find it flattering, while others might be downright mortified (the latter response is quite surprising considering that these are the modern times and homosexuality has been a prominent part of our culture for ages). Regardless of your views on being gay, it’s important to know how to deflect unwanted attention from men who might come on too aggressive.

 Tip 1: Don’t automatically assume you’re being hit on

Some dudes get huffy when a gay guy starts talking to them and they immediately start jumping to the conclusion that he’s being hit on because the man talking to him is obviously gay. Not true. In fact, most gay men are really sociable and will talk to just about anyone. If he’s hitting on you, it might be because you’re well put together (excellent grooming, great style etc.), this should be taken as a compliment not an insult.

 Tip 2: Let him down easily

Yes, it’s true that certain gay men entertain a fantasy of finding a straight guy and “turning him gay”. But this is not entirely predominant, and gay guys generally stick to their own. They do however like to tell cute guys that they’re, well, cute. Take the compliment, and just say thanks. Nothing more, don’t flirt, nothing. If they’re being really persistent, then make an excuse that you have somewhere to be.

 Tip 3: Ask yourself if it even bothers you?

It’s kind of nice to know that women and men find you sexy. It means you’ve got a cool demeanor that is suggestive of being open to all sorts of things. In addition, you’ve got great style and good looks, what more can a man ask for?

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Sex on the First Date

sex on the first dateThis age old question is one that will never die down. Do you or don’t you have sex on the first date? Having sex on the first date does open up a can of worms for a lady. The man is pretty safe, but the woman is always considered something less of a lady when she beds her partner on the first go round. It’s a double standard that will never die. So ladies, what do you do? Well, first of all get a good feel for the guy. If this is someone who you don’t really intend on seeing again and you just have an itch to scratch, then scratch carefully. If this is someone you are wanting to spend more time with, you may want to keep the pocket book (vagina) closed for a little bit. Waiting to see a person’s character and how they react in life and their opinions and goals is important for the long run. Otherwise, you could end up bedding someone that you find you don’t really care for. Once the deed is done it can’t be taken back. He will always be there as that guy you screwed and you wish you hadn’t.

As for you guys, the first date screw thing has a different connotation. The man that asks for sex on the first date is usually a jerk. But of course, you may not care. Ladies will talk and we are brutal. Our sly smiles and eyelash batting is just to loosen you up. Once you start talking and it is a bunch of nonsense, we shut down. So if you are going to ask for sex on the first date, make sure you are playing with a full deck and got major game. In addition, play safe and don’t label the female just because she said yes. You could be her mercy fuck for the night.

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Tips for using sex toys in the sack


girl sitting on male blow up doll Sex stores are everywhere. You can go downtown in any city or town, and find that one little shop filled to the brim with vibrators, funky lubes, sex swings, and alluring costumes for him and her. When most couples walk into the sex store, they might feel shy or intimidated by the clerk or the content of the store. Of course, people are there to help you, but honestly, who wants some pimply faced punk with turquoise hair helping you find the perfect butt plug?

 We sure as hell don’t. Save yourself time and embarrassment – choose to shop online, or simply go in and ask questions pertaining to information you already know. For those who are just starting, here are just a few of the best sex toys we’ve ever heard of and we highly recommend you try them.

 Cock Rings

One of the most inexpensive and beneficial items you can buy. It mutually satisfies both partners because her clit is stimulated while his penis gets a vibrating sensation. There are also cock rings that stimulate the testicles, and others that aid in longer lasting sex through the entrapment of blood in the shaft.

 “We Vibe”

The We Vibe is probably one of the most popular items out there on the market today. This amazing sex toys allows both partners to feel pulsating vibrations during intercourse, and it has an added benefit: She’s hitting the infamous G-spot which produces wetter orgasms that will turn you on even more.

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Putting Your Relationship First

happy family Today’s family is often caught up in a whirlwind of routines. Drop of the kids, go to work, pick up the kids, help with homework, cook dinner and so on. It’s no wonder that we look up one day and the kids are not so small and off on their own. It takes a lot raise a family and maintain a healthy relationship. In addition, before you use the phrase “the good ole days,” were they really that good? The stay at home subservient roles is one that I definitely was not cut out to hold. Today is much better, but there is still some tweaking to do. For instance, get away from work. Family vacations are dwindling year after year. The cost of living has increased exponentially over the past ten years. Everyday living costs are depleting the family budget before you even get to the good stuff. Saving for the future is difficult when a family’s current needs are most important. Somehow, in the sacrifice to have it all we have forgotten that or family is the all. So here are some ideas to keep it together and enjoy what really matters:

1. Plan weekend getaways – Affording the big trips and waiting for months and months for them to arrive is too long. Smaller day trips and weekend getaways may fit the budget better than a week long excursion.

2. Staycations – Plan to have family fun at home. Put away the technology, cell phones, tablets, etc and break out the board games. Remember what we did before the technological overload. Families gathered in a room and actually communicated.

3. Rent movies – Along with the board games and family fun, rent movies and spend the day watching your favorite film. Add popcorn, snacks and drinks and you have movie day without the uncomfortable movie seats and sticky floors.

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The types of annoying people you will meet on an adult dating site


annoying peopleThe best thing about dating online is the sheer amount of choice you have available at your fingertips. You can literally log into an online dating site, and feel like you’ve just taken a seat at the world’s biggest bar for singles. Flip through personals and see photos of men or women, young or old, fat or thin, hot or not etc. But with so many options for dating available online these days, it’s important to know how to differentiate between a quality profile and a crappy one.

In today’s post, we are going to go over just a few of those annoying people you might meet online. Avoid these people like the plague. They are a waste of your time.

The perfectionist: It’s perfectly acceptable to be picky and to have standards when you’re seeking love or sex online. However, there are some personals you will read that will leave you shaking your head, asking yourself, “Is this person for real?” They might have an entire paragraph that says “don’t message me if you smoke, you don’t go to the gym at least 3 times a week, you drink during the week …” These people are clearly closed minded and looking for a carbon copy of themselves. Truth is that they’re probably crappy people in reality.

The Over Sharer: This type of person exists on a lot of people’s Facebook feeds. They share WAY too much information about their personal lives. You can spot these people on an online dating site by taking note of how long their profile is. How have they answered every question? Is it short and succinct? Or are all the answers long rambling essays? If so, then you can expect this person to be rambling and talking too much in person. They might reveal details about themselves or their past relationships that you don’t really need to know.

The Faker: These people are the worst to encounter online because you like their profile, chat with them a bunch, and then you realize that they might be fake because they never want to meet up or they refuse to send you more photos. Don’t let them toy you around. Cut off contact the second you realize they may be fake.

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How to spot a codependent-dating partner


identical couple having sexCo-dependency is defined as an unbalanced partnership where both people in a relationship are entirely dependent on the survival of the relationship in order to preserve their own identities. The ironic reality of this relationship is that both partners ultimately end up hating each other because they are so dependent on each other. It’s a vicious cycle.


If you suspect that you might be with a co-dependent person, then pay attention to the following signs:


-        Your partner has confidence issues. You notice that they often don’t see themselves as worthy and have a history of settling for less in the past.

-        Your partner has a tendency to hide their real emotions or pain. They’ll often use humor or sarcasm to disguise their true feelings from you because they don’t want you to see them in a vulnerable state.

-        Your partner calls you to validate everything they do. They cannot make smaller decisions without your opinion, advice or condolence. Your validation is necessary because they do not have enough faith in themselves to stand on their own two feet.

-        They disregard friends or cancel plans to make you happy. Simply put: You come first before their own needs.

-        Their dating history is tattered with failed relationships with people who fear commitment, intimacy, are manipulative, or are addicted to something. They’ve perhaps admitted to dating these types of people because they were enticed by the idea of impossible love.

-        They want to solve everyone’s problems. The person who focuses on solving other people’s problems is usually co-dependent because they don’t focus on themselves enough.

A codependent partner will usually stay in an unhappy relationship for longer than necessary because they do not believe they can do any better. Proceed with caution if you notice any of the above signs.

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The Company You Keep

sexy married coupleNow that you are married and on your way to following the dreams that you and your hubby have made, there is a little issue about friends. When you were single it was important to watch the company you kept. Well the same is true when you are married. I once had a friend get upset because as her friends married, they no longer invited her around and pretty much only hung with other married couples. This is a smart practice. Sorry, but occasional lunches with the single friends is fine, but do not make it a habit. Unfortunately, the company that you keep tends to determine how your life will go. Single people need to be other single people. They have plenty in common and are free to live as they please. Married people have a different path and need to find other married couples that share their interests. It is human to want something that you can not have, but in the case of the married person, a discipline must form in order to keep that bond strong. It’s not that single persons are out to ruin a marriage. It’s just that on that one occasion when the marriage seems stressed, the opinion of a single person can be deadly. In one moment, the married friend starts to see things in a distorted manner and if this is not put in check, other distortions will arise. Soon, the relationship is in jeopardy and the married is hanging out more with the singles. This behavior spirals and the unfortunate tends to happen. It is important to have friends that share similar experiences. This is true for singles and couples. Being able to talk about things that happen in a relationship with someone who knows what it’s like is beneficial. Creating a support system to get you through the rough patches is best for the couple. Reliving your single days as if there were no cares, is not an option, especially when you could be throwing away a good thing.

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